How do you feel about your job or career? Do you truly enjoy what you do for a living? Or, are you like most people: dreading going to sleep at night, hitting the snooze button many times… barely able to face another miserable day at work?

Sometimes my life coaching clients will express feeling trapped in a job that they simply don’t enjoy, or worse, dread. This happens to all kinds of people in all types of professions. It happens to people who appear to have “made it” just as often as it happens to those just starting out on their career journey. It happened to me.

For a very long time, I felt trapped in a career that came with a lot of financial reward and status, yet left me unfulfilled. What I feared most was a loss of identity and pride. What would others think about me if I bailed out? Would they call me a failure? A quitter? A hopeless dreamer? I feared that I’d “never figure it out” and that years from now, I’d be in the exact same place I yearned to move away from, for lack of a decision or solid plan.

Can you relate to these career worries that I experienced? Many people can. In my belief it all boils down to distrust in ourselves, and a lack of knowing what really fulfills us. When we come up with some good ideas, fear kicks in. Fear reminds us that it’s not good to take risks, that we need security, that most people fail at “X” and we’ll have to work really, really hard if we expect to get anywhere.

One possible reason why you stay in the same job despite so many misgivings: you’re good at what you do. On the surface, your job gives the illusion of an ideal fit. Yet deep inside, you may have a secret dream of being laid off. Maybe you long for that magical opportunity. But then you wonder, ” Who is to say that the skills I have now will be enough? What else should I be learning?” And on the flip side you worry, “How can I possibly land a new job that pays as well as the one I have now?” Indeed, it seems that fear has you in its clutches: you are afraid to leave and afraid to stay.

And, that’s okay. It’s okay to have fear. Fear is a good tool with lots of great information. However, fear gets us in trouble when we allow it to take over and make important choices for us.

To be fulfilled, you must move through the fear. This requires awareness, risk, and perseverance.

Ask yourself: How did I arrive at Career Dread?

· Did your career choose you instead of you choosing it? Perhaps somewhere along the way you took an opportunity that seemed good at the time, yet over the years it lost its luster. Now you’re stuck because it’s all you think you know and changing now would be a crazy thing to do.

· Did someone else’s expectations choose your career for you? It’s what mom and Dad or someone else wanted. And you went a long with it so as not to disappoint.

· Did you go with what seemed easiest? Maybe a lack of trust in one’s own decision making ability is to blame. Or, perhaps you didn’t feel talented enough to pursue what you really want.

· Do you feel “there’s no looking back now?” You’ve spent your best years climbing the ladder – yet suddenly you fear you’ll give up before the getting gets really good. Perhaps its “too late” for you to make your real dream come true so you choose to live with regret and career dread.

· Do you feel overwhelmed? Do your conflicting talents and interests pull you in different directions? Are you unable to make a choice, and so you just do “whatever” to pay the bills?

Try this five step plan to open your mind to new career possibilities and “move through” the fear that immobilizes you.

Step one: Make a list of everything that you love.

Step two: Make a list of everything that you are good at.

Step three: Make a list of everything that you enjoy.

Step four: Now look for the patterns. Do any themes come up? For example, do what you love and enjoy involve the outdoors? Animals? People? Are your talents and skills related to using your hands, creating art, music, speaking, using your body? If your lists are long enough, you will see some patterns.

Step five: Now get busy and do research:

Search out every possible career that embodies what you love, enjoy and are good at. Search the Internet, look in the yellow pages, go to the library, ask friends and family members for direction. Interview people, gather facts and information. Involve yourself in activities related to your themes. Attend some networking functions, career workshops, adventure groups, writing clubs… whatever it is for you!

The key is to get into action! A big negative about career dread is it tends to suck the life out of us. It can make us feel depressed. Getting into action will not only help you understand yourself more and carve a career path that is fulfilling for you, it will get you moving again! Get outside, connect with people, surround yourself with your passions… engage yourself in the activities and experiences that you are curious and excited about. This alone will revitalize you. And, who knows. Maybe you’ll meet someone along the way who shares your passion, can mentor you, or support you somehow.

Want proof that you really can choose your career, instead of letting your career choose you? Below is a list of people who stepped into their fear and chose their own career direction:

Martha Stewart
Rachael Ray
Mary Kay Ash – Mary Kay Cosmetics
Debbie Fields – Mrs. Fields’ Cookies
Oprah Winfrey
Barbara Sher
Nido Qubein
Walt Disney
Rosanne Barr
Ray Charles
Ted Turner
Queen Latifah
Julia Morgan
Ben & Jerry
Henry Ford
Donald Trump
Billie Jean King
Maya Lin
Madonna

Today I challenge you to step out of career dread and into empowerment. If you are living to work, then you’re not really living. You spend a lot of your life working in your career. Why not create a life that includes loving what you do?

Susan Liddy, MA is a Life Coach and founder of Aspire Life Coaching™. Susan facilitates personal growth in women who have poor self esteem, negative body image, career dread and unhealthy relationships. Common to most of Susan’s clients is having the general feeling that “something is missing in their lives” with fear being the root cause. Susan’s programs and seminars teach women how to manage fear and create a healthy lifestyle that includes self care, fulfillment and healthy relationships.

For more information about Susan Liddy and Aspire Life Coaching™ visit aspirelifecoaching.org aspirelifecoaching.org or call (408) 835-9908.

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